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5:52 AM -- 2004-01-24
Hip Hip Hooray for 2003... late-style.

Yea, so this is about what I did in 2003. Long have I searched for a questionaire that properly encapsulates last year. Finally, I found such a suiting quiz in paper girl's diary. Thanks Marla.

HIP HIP HOORAY FOR 2003. better late than never.

1.What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?

lived in three different cities throughout the year... ah the life of a nomad.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I have never EVER made a new years resolution. New years resolutions are for uncreative nutsacs.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No, but I heard Kelly Ripa dropped a litter of nine... nine hellriders from the crevace of the underworld.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Well.... John Ritter, Rerun, Unsolved Mysteries' Robert Stack, and Johnny Cash.

5. What countries did you visit?

Kentucky.

6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?

A bag of money. That and John Bon Jovi's everlasting love.

7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Some weekend in september... Paducah Kentucky... it was by far the craziest weekend I've ever ever ever had. Not much can be disclosed from such a sin-stained party-like-a-rockstar-then-stumble-to-a-workshop-about-the-2004-election kinda weekend. And mind you, I don't use the term "party like a rockstar" lightly. In fact I'm pretty sure alot of the stuff I did, Vince Neil probably frequented in the 80's. In retrospect... that weekend rocked my jaw off.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Easy, but the credit doesn't rely solely with me... Dell's Computer Takeback Program. Producer Responsibility.. suckas. Alot of you probably have no fucking clue what I'm talking about.. but worry not, as I've saved your lives collectively... thats all you need to know.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Waking up January 1st, 2003.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Oh dude, I had to wear a neck brace for like a week once... and then one day I almost fell off a cliff.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Pot... til the end of time, pot is the best thing I've bought.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Mine, when I saved some school children from a burning church, even though I was on the lamb and wanted back in my hometown because my friend JohnnyCakes killed a soc... but it was okay, because that guy was trying to drown me, and then Johnny saved my life... well, I guess Johnny would have to be the one meritting celebration, as he's in the hospital for burns sustained in the fire. Tonite, me and Dally are going to the rumble to beat those soc's.. and Dally said to me, "Lets do it for Johnny!" So thats what we're going to do... kill soc's in Johnny's name.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Michael Jackson, you get outta my tv now.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Various vices of the chemical kind.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Jello Biafra's speeches and sadly, American Idol.

16. What song will always remind you of 2003?

Well, actually, 2003 has to be cut into three different parts, beginning, middle and end. Beginning: Sublime-- 40oz to Freedom. (the san antonio era), Middle: Jason Mraz-- Curbside Prophet (aint no party like a nana-house party..), and End: Paul Simon-- Something So Right (the austin era).

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder?

Tons happier... I'm wiser and older... can't go wrong with that.

ii. thinner or fatter?

Thinner. I lost some mad weight in austin. Since I've been back for a month, my clothes are starting to fit tighter again.. another sign that I need to get back.

iii. richer or poorer?

Meh, who's counting?

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Sex.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Bitching.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

yea, christmas has already passed, but I'm not in the mood to omit this question and have to change all the question numbers from here on out... I spent christmas worshipping the dark lord.

21. Did you fall in love in 2003?

yea.

23. How many one-night stands?

Ooooh... enough. I suppose this would be a good time to own up and appologize for that. Sorry to any girlfriends I might've affected by such a heinous crime. I'll pull a wildcard and blame it all on the alcohol. muhuhahaha... so there.

24. What was your favourite TV program?

Always will be... Full House.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No. I pretty much hate everyone the same as last year.... ooh.. wait, that one slutbag... no, no I still hate everyone equally.

26. What was the best book you read?

Steal this Book.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Paul Simon. thank you, joe.

28. What did you want and get?

A fun new life.

29. What did you want and not get?

Joe... side effect from my fun new life... goddammit.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?

Return of the King, sucka jones!

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Got hideously trashed whilst housesitting at my gramma's place. People got hurt, things got broken... but the collateral damage was small in consideration to the fun.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably satisfying?

Goddammit, why is Joe coming up in every one of these fucking questions?

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?

I rocked a straw cowboy hat for half a year, lost the motherfucker in a poker game.

34. What kept you sane?

That damn journal attached to my hand. I compulsively write wherever I am.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Corey Feldman.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Snap diggity... I'll bust this text box if I were to name them all.. but I'll be considerate and say that this "sanctity of marriage" bullshit the president is talking about really hacks me off. Take your right-wing family values fuckspeak, and shove it up your poop-shoot. Infringing on civil rights?? Not in my country, nutsac.

37. Who did you miss?

Oh Joe... why'dya have to go??

38. Who was the best new person you met?

Man, I met the bestest new friends this year. Zac is a madman who taught me how to cook vegetarian, training me in hacky-sack, and is a staple in any of my camping trips. Zac Trehan is probably the best person I have ever ever met. Out of everyone, I'd have to say Zac is my favorite.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003:

They're watching you.... always watching you. So you'd better watch out.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Ohhh....

"Here I go again on my own.

Going down the only road I've ever known.

Like a drifter, I was born to walk alone.

And I know what it means, to walk along the lonely street of dreams.

Here I go again."

WHITESNAKE.... COMING AT YEEE-HAAAHHH

Hip Hip Hooray for 2003. Now I have a time capsule of knowlege in case I come along in life wondering: Hey, what the fuck happened in the year two thousand and three?

Yet another problem prevented by quick wit and magic by yours truly. I'm just sorry that its boring for you all, having to read so many answers concerning some guy. Being wrapped up in some guy isn't funny to the masses. Stupid ninja.

The Ninja, is signing off..

Sa Da Tay!