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11:26 PM -- 2006-10-09
Here' s the stupid skinny on Mononucleosis

Since this has virtually become a simple excercise to keep my lyrical wit sharp... I suppose we have a free for all on our hands.

My boyfriend is so giving... mononucleosis is the best present a gal could ask for... thanks, honey.

I begrudgingly shuffled into the afterhours clinic on saturday morning with ridiculous swollen lymph nodes. Imagine walking about with two raquetballs stuck to either side of your throat. My pretty face just doesn't match this kinda shit you'd see in a goddamn medical textbook. Doesn't do much for my fledgling porn career either... camera's don't dig it.

And the real bitch about mono is the limitations it throws at my social life. No booze, for risk of liver complications, and no smoking either. Lets not forget the contagion factor... So screwing is out of the question also. My man acts like I'm a goddamn leper, because he's in silly denial about having the same germs. With three of my favorite passtimes on hold, I'm having a shit time finding activities to fill my day. Its a real biatch on an almost republican level.

But tonite, I'm a straight up cheater.... and straight up is exactly how I like my congac. The tastiest beverage I'm not supposed to have. Personally, I'd rather have a pissed off liver than a stir crazy brain... and it took a solid few hours to weigh the options to my satisfaction. As the glass nears have empty, I say 'Good choice, Ninja. Makes me proud.'

I've got a sweet business trip to Chicago next week, and I'll be damned if I have to deny myself a good bar hop or two. Non negotiable. A more important limitation is my wallet, not my compromised health. No matter, I'll have no problem finding a score of italian stallions itching to buy my beverages. Women get breaks in this way, and I'm not the type to let foolish pride hinder advantages.

'I aint saying she's a gold diggah, but she aint messin with no broke jigga's.'

Exactly, Kanye. This is how we do in Chi-town.

Well, I've got some suitcases to pack, so I really must take my leave.

maybe just a cigarette more...

Signing off...

The Ninja.

oh yea... and Sa Da Tay!