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2:09 AM -- 2006-04-13
Damn Ninja, this is the second year in a row Wrestlemania shit on your shoe.

Well April has been a shitter of a month, and it looks like we're swinging for the fence to take this all the way to day thirty.

Wrestlemania was a lame buzzkill. Big Al and myself hauled our asses to our local Movie Tavern to join the swell of texas wreslting fans waiting to watch some mayhem. We do this every month for pay per views because its cheap and this temple has a full goddamn bar.

I've always had a penchant for rooting on the bad guys. As someone who understands how all this crazy shit works, I can appreciate a good heel. I love the men everyone loves to hate. Of course, in any crowd, especially those with lots of children, I end up a minority.

Its like rooting for Bruce Dern in a John Wayne movie. I love it.

My tradition is to get sloshed and bag on all the good guys. By nature, wrestling fans are rowdy, so everyone indulges a good shout once in a while. I'm always the asshole they fight with.

Ever got into a shouting match with an eight year old? I do this shit once a month, and I gotta say, I couldn't feel more cleansed.

I'm a mean drunk. A remarkably articulate drunk, morphed into a forked tongued viper lookin for a fight. One harsh beeatch.

Anywho, I was in a foul mood because all of my guys lost, everyone around me was happy, and the usher wouldn't let me have a cigarette in the building. Wresltemania was weak.

And to top it off... I'm bounced from my king of the ring pool because my Randy Orton was suspended for unprofessional conduct. No joke legal shit too. That sucka was my pick for the win, and now I'm out a shot at good drug money. Leave it to me to trust the Latrell Spreewell of pro wrestling. How the fuck do you get suspended from pro fucking wrestling??

His daddy's gonna take a belt to his ass when he gets home. Beat down.

Sixty days, jigga, and he's coming back a champion. No doubt, he'll have that belt by summertime.

Oh and by the way, Fuck John Cena. Broke-ass ninja turtle. HHH is gonna fuck you up here come next month. Pay per View, beeatch.

...

I was supposed to go see Bono speak in Dallas next month. As a member of the press, no doubt. But the clearance turned to be a bust. I told some of my homeboys that I'd pack my glock, and word got back around to Bono. He cut me off, just like that. He said, "Naw, I ain't gonna do this shit if she's gonna come at me like that. I need to make a phone call."

In short: access denied.

Yea, April has been a straight up bitch.

The Ninja, signing off..

Sa da Tay.