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2:10 AM -- 2004-12-29
Countercultures Ahoy!

"when the pigs try to get at you.... park it like its hot.."
Makes no sense, but that new Snoop Dogg cut is a dee-light.

Haven't rapped at this thing in a while, but I've been doing alot of reading done. Working the Sociology section at the bookstore really have its perks. I've been getting my read-on about america's countercultures lately. Like Satanism, Scientology, Ku Klux Klan and the like... take it from me... that Unification Church bullshit is one thing.... boring, boring boring.

And I've been dabbling in the literature about hallucinogenic ceremonies from around the world. Like that ayahuasca jazz I talked about a few months ago. My Things to Do list has expanded to travel to south american countries, purely with a psychadelic mission at heart. Life should really be a big psychadelic mission anyways, no?

But about Scientology... what a load of horseshit, huh? Like I need another reason to think Tom Cruise is a slobbering dolt. No doubt the church of scientology will try to sue my broke ass for this... but what the fuck.

WHAT I KNOW ABOUT SCIENTOLOGY: by The Ninja

Back in the sixties, a shitty science fiction writer decided to create his own religion... it was actually born to be a mind-over-body self help program, Dianetics, but to escape taxes, He changed its title to religion. You can call anything a religion in the eyes of America.

So its based on an idea that 75 million years ago, a tyrant named Xenu created negative thoughts in our soles... like the idea of organized religion, and the whatnot. But its okay, because we can pay the church to cleanse our soles of the bad shit... all we need are more than 500,000. They hook you up to a machine that looks like a lie-detector, and you get "audited". Seriously... this is what tells you what is fucked up... and you're hooked up with a soul cleansing.

Are you fucking kidding me?? This doesn't even touch the iceberg on the backstory of this Xenu character. Its crazier than Jesus walking on water, and virgin conception.

Scientology is down with past lives, and the head guy talked about dozens of his. But the thing of it all is... L Ron Hubbard was a caught pathological liar. He had all these dramatic war stories, that totally didn't check out with the navy. In his scientology-approved biography, he talked about growing up on a horse ranch, breaking bronco's in his youth... but when Hubbard's family was called for verification, they fucking laughed and said they lived on a meager-ass chicken farm. He told the masses that he had a doctorate, but really it was a mail-order degree from Sequoia University.

My point is... why would any rational human being really believe in a religion by someone who's completely full of shit?

I dunno, but Kirstie Alley did it.... and Mr. Saturday Night Fever John Travolta.

Bullshit, is bullshit... no matter how much it costs.

I'm not going to be laughing as hard when my life is ruined by some Scientolgist's harassment for this.

You heard it here first.

The Ninja, is signing off..

Sa Da Tay!