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5:32 PM -- 2004-04-16
Job interview today...

Tonite, Friday as it seems... I have nothing more to do than to sit down and write a letter to my dearest Tommy Chong, who as you all may know, is being held prisoner at a correctional facility in California.

I've never written a letter to a martyr before... unless you count Mark-Paul Gossaler when I was 8. However, it seems to me that Dustin Diamond was more apt for martyrdom than that slimy Zach Morris character.

Nonetheless....

I had a job interview at my local head shop today. Bizarre, I must conclude. It was a situation where I had no clue what to expect, what they were going to ask me, what they could LEGALLY ask me... and what I could legally say.

For the most part, I was very dissapointed. The woman just read run of the mill, "what did you like and dislike about your previous jobs" type questions off a survey. I just wanted to stop her and say, "Look, I know how to run a cash register inside and out, I smoke alot of pot, I appreciate a good bong, and yes... I'll repeat,

I smoke alot of pot.

However, inner-monologue it stayed.

Things took a turn for the comical when she straight-faced asked me, "So what do you want to take from this job?"

"I have a passion," I retorted. "And my passion is to unite my fellow man with the perfect medium for his shared passion. I mean, thats why we're here, right? A shared passion for the extraordinaire? To me, seeing someone walk out with a new glass best friend is the ultimate of rewards. Aside from working a soup kitchen this might perhaps be the most rewarding career in the country. And that, madame... is what I want to take from this job. By the way... whats the employee discount here?"

In short, I thought I did a phenomenal job with this particular interview. Note that there was indeed patriotic music softly humming in the background during my grandstand, and also note that the previous tale may be exaggerated a slight.

I should be expecting a call within the next few days... cross your fingers, fuckers.

The Ninja, is signing off..

Sa Da Tay!